SNOW!ICE!COLD!FREEZYTHINGS!

College is all about diversity. Diversifying ones interests and activities. For instance, this past winter I did tons of stuff:


Celebrated a birthday...


Made fun of people based solely on their physical appearance (check out Renee's eye)...


Went to the Zoo...


Made New Friends...


Watched a woman die...

...And Most Importantly:

...Played Guitar Hero...

...Lots...


...And Lots...


...And Lots...


...And Lots...

...And Lots of Guitar Hero.

Having made my point about diversifying ones interests I feel it must be noted that upon my attempts to broaden my horizons, I learned the following:

College kids will go out to get fucked up every weekend no matter how shitty the weather. That being said, here are some fauxtoes of my winter exploits!

Now You See Bacon:

Now You Don't:



The Epitome of College Douchebaggery.


Two of the dumbest people ever...and Dan.


Caitlin Coyle turned 21. I drank lots. Hurray Birthdays!


I don't think this could get any cuter...even if Michelle Tanner from Full House was giving Eskimo Kisses to a Kitten in the background <3


Creepy Ass Danny. You know what he looks like he should be saying? "Hollahollahollalemmehollalemmeholla"


One Night Arryn stopped by...wearing nothing but Twister and a belt. Right Hand on Titty-Balls.


Arryn's anything but clothes get-up was so fly it made Chris fall out of his chair. It was either her outfit or his B.A.C...I'm not sure which.

Hey Boys! What's so funny?

Oh! Chris randomly fell out of his seat! Yeah! That is hilarious!

AYE, WHAT'S SO FUCKIN FUNNY, LIL' NIGGA?!?!

Oh, you're still laughing because Chris fell out of his chair for no reason? I See. Yeah, I suppose that is still pretty damn funny.

Wait, wait, wait. Chris, why are YOU laughing?

Because you fell out of a chair for no reason at all? Alright, then.


It's a reverse Oreo! I feel like the Subhuman Creme to their All Mighty Aryan Cookies...


Now THAT'S how an Oreo should look, damn it.


Phil? Is that you?


You know how we likes it...Straight Hood!


I feel like this picture looks like it could be from Freshman year of High School. Also, Danny's hand looks huge as fuck.


I don't know what Shannon is yelling exactly...but I hope it was, "BITCH, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE NO SIBLINGS!"....Unforgivable....


Why isn't this my Facebook picture?

Oh, right! Because this is:

...Okay so this may not be my Facebook picture but it's hard to the core none the less.


A bitch would be so lucky to get a piece of that.


Shannon Smith: The Man, The Myth, The Legend.

Fuck All this Mess...It's time for a DANCE PARTY!!!!

Lean With It!


Negroes sure do like to soft-shoe...


I think Phil is doing the Thriller dance...


This is Why I'm Hot!


He Wants to Move!


BAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLIN!


WALK IT OUT!


We Fly High, No Lie...


...I don't think Shannon knows that one so much...

So with all this madness happening during the shittiest time of year, who knows what's going to go down in Spring? Stay tuned, bitches.

Michigan!!!

Michigan weekend kicked off on a brisk November Thursday. Renee and Mandy were chomping at the bit to get their feet wet in Mirror Lake...

"Whoa, Look at all the people! You can't even see the water!", thought Mandy


Mandy felt pretty confident. She was ready to dive in! But then, at the last minute...

Mandy started to freak out. Renee held her hand and gave her some drunken words of advice.


Mandy realized Renee was right! Time to be strong! Time to stop fucking around! Time to grow a pair!

...It was so very cold. The shock of the icy water stung to the core of Mandy's soul. For some reason Renee wasn't affected by the frigid fluid...


Mandy quickly remembered the advice of Renee and decided to be a total badass. She embraced the water with open arms. She and Mirror Lake were one. Woody Hayes would be proud.

However beautiful the moment was, Mandy soon realized that the water was fucking gross and decided to head home.

On the way, Renee & Mandy ran into two very muddy boys. Though all smiles on the outside, inside Mandy was thinking, "white people...."


After a long night of drinking duck piss-filled water and running across campus in soaking wet clothes Renee & Mandy decided it was time to shower and wrap up the night.

*THE NEXT DAY*

Mandy's best friend Maria decided to visit Columbus for Michigan weekend along with the rest of Ohio. Mandy decided to go see the slut at Phil's house.

She asked, "Hey, are you guys excited for tomorrow?!?!"

Her friends cheered, "Yea, verily!"


Mandy proceeded to drink lots with her friends...

"See this 'V' I am making with my hand?" Daniel asked.

He continued, "It stands for VICTORY!"

Mandy decided to chat up Russell, "Rusty, tomorrow is going to be so fucking amazing. I can't wait." Russell replied:

"Who is Troy Smith?"


"FUCK THAT, MOTHERFUCKER!" Riku rabidly cried. Russell soon realized the error of his ways and all was forgiven.

That night in Columbus, Ohio not a single soul slept a wink for the next day...

November 18th, 2006 3:30PM Eastern. Columbus, Ohio. #1 Ohio State vs. #2 Michigan. THE GAME.

THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES:



The cup runith over with excitement in the moments leading up to kick off.


OH-IO


Oh, Come Let's Sing Ohio's Praise...



Hang On Sloopy...Sloopy Hang On!

Fuck. Michigan.

Mandy watched in awe as the Buckeyes extended their win streak to 19 and Half-Time came too soon...


Thousands watched as the "I" was dotted in the Game of the Century.


TBDBITL


YODA!!!


Mandy donned facepaint like a badass. Also, she bled scarlet and gray all over the stadium...

After the coolest halftime show of the 2006 season, Mandy was ready to see Chad Henne and his crew of flunkies die.

And die they did. Every last one of them. Never to be seen or heard of again. Mandy basked in the warm glow of sweet Victory.


The Best Damn Fans in the Land rushed the field to claim a grassy chunk of sports history.

After some deep reflection Mandy said, "I believe it was George Washington, 3rd President of the United States and Civil Rights Activist who said, 'Fuck Michigan, Fuck them in their stupid asses.'" Though historically inaccurate in every way possible, Mandy's heart was in the right place and her appreciation and admiration of The Ohio State Buckeyes was both unrivaled and unchallenged.